Virtually everyone uses e-mail these days for fast, efficient messaging. But, unfortunately, almost no one has been trained in e-mail etiquette.

Most companies simply plunk new hires down with an e-mail address and directions for the computer's e-mail program. Few have any policies about e-mail usage, and even fewer offer guidelines for communicating via e-mail, says Stacy Brice, President and Chief Visionary Officer of AssistU, a Baltimore, Md.-based virtual assistance firm that recognizes the benefits of effective electronic communication.

The biggest e-mail mistake, Brice says, is that people use it when they should instead pick up the phone and have a conversation.

"The medium is difficult for most. And if you're not a great written communicator to begin with, your chances of being misunderstood in an e-mail are automatically increased," says Brice.

E-mail is a lousy system for handling any kind of controversy or difficulty, Brice warns. Supervisors, in particular, should steer clear of using e-mail to deliver reprimands or orders to their employees.

So when should you use it? Brice recommends: for short communications such as meeting alerts or schedule changes; when you need to maintain a written record of your communication; or when you are collaborating with a diverse group.

Here are some more tips from Brice for effectively communicating in the electronic age.

• Consider how your message will be received. Read it out loud to yourself before sending to make sure you've achieved the proper tone. Use the "grandmother rule"; don't write in any tone that you would be ashamed to share with your grandmother.
  
  
• If you are the least bit upset when responding to an e-mail, save your response and review it later before sending it. Avoid the lure of being able to respond in the heat of the moment.
  
  
• In fact, if the original message upsets you, you should consider not responding in e-mail at all. If there is a misunderstanding via e-mail, it's probably time to pick up the phone.
  
  
• E-mail is not a confidential transmission of information. Don't write anything in e-mail that you would not want others to see.
  
  
• When replying to another e-mail, cut out all extraneous information, keeping only the original question. Write your reply next to or below it. This system should be required for all but the simplest, single-question e-mails.
  
  
• Don't use indents for new paragraphs in an email - instead leave a blank line between paragraphs. It's easier to read on a computer screen.
  
  
• Finally, reply to e-mails in a timely fashion. Don't leave your co-workers or your clients hanging, wondering if you ever received their message.

Snippy voice mails, flaming e-mails, foul language and unreturned phone calls have become all too commonplace in the workplace.

In fact, every territory seems to be increasingly hostile; road rage already has mild-mannered motorists driving in fear, while workplace rudeness has increasing numbers of office co-workers figuratively if not literally cowering under their cubicles.

"It has really reached crisis proportions," says Giovinella Gonthier, a Chicago, Ill.-based author and founder of consulting firm Civility Associates. Gonthier has written a book on the topic, Rude Awakenings: Overcoming the Civility Crisis in the Workplace, with Kevin Morrissey, due out in May 2002.

"The problem with rude behavior is that many people don't realize it is a problem," she says. "But studies show that 12 percent of employees leave their workplace due to co-workers' and supervisors' rude behavior, and another 53 percent consider quitting because of it. That's a huge impact on morale, retention and productivity."

It's the proverbial vicious cycle. Nose-diving morale and workers heading for the exit doors can result in an increasingly over-worked, overstressed work environment - and even more rudeness and incivility. The impact can hurt a workplace's ability to form a good team. The effect on a company's bottom line, Gonthier asserts, can be devastating.

Gonthier has looked at the rudeness problem historically. She traces its causes to the congestion of our cities, our stressed out, sleepless society and our increasing isolation from each other, whether we're commuting in separate cars or toiling away in our walled off computer work stations.

In a recent survey by Public Agenda, a nonpartisan public policy research organization, some 81 percent of Americans said businesses have gone too far in reducing staff sizes, forcing customers to wait more often and for longer periods for service. Three-quarters of those surveyed, however, said they've experienced rudeness even when sales and customer service representatives are available.

"We've become competent dealing with machinery and software, but have lost ground in dealing with human ware," Gonthier says. "We have to regain some of this competency and give people the tools to manage conflicts, not personalize them, and stay focused on business issues."

For her book, Gonthier found some downright alarming anecdotes of rudeness, even abuse, in the workplace. Those included singling out an employee with rumors and isolation, sending black floral arrangements, and an actual instance of voodoo. One supervisor required his assistants to stand at attention in front of his desk for hours at a time.

Most employees are dealing with more garden variety rudeness: abrupt phone manners, profanity, annoying loudness, and habitual lateness to meetings.

It all boils down to ignoring the needs and concerns of others, according to Ann Chadwell Humphries, president of Columbia, S.C.-based ETICON Inc., an etiquette consulting business.

Humphries cites lots of reasons for increasing rudeness in the workplace such as failure to teach children manners, cultural differences, and even the entrepreneurial American spirit that fosters a sense of breaking the rules - including the rules of etiquette. But etiquette is not just about understanding the proper way to drink tea.

"People sometimes forget that they can't just think about themselves," comments Jill Bremer of Bremer Communications, an Oak Park, Ill.-based image consulting firm. "You do what you can to make the other person feel comfortable," Bremer said. "That's how you win friends and clients."

The basic tenet of business etiquette, she notes, is behaving and communicating in a way in which you would like to be treated yourself.

One solution, according to all three consultants, is for companies to set civility guidelines the same way they set dress codes or other workplace requirements. Companies might even consider evaluating and measuring civility like any other performance metric.

"And it has to be a top down requirement," Gonthier insists. "If you're going to have effective cultural change in your organization, everyone has to be involved, not just the administrative staff."

But guidelines won't work without the proper foundation for establishing professional, polite behavior.

Gonthier, Humphries and Bremer all offer business training workshops to help employees establish a proper sense of respect for each other.

"Disrepect not only hurts the business in relation to its customers, it hurts a workplace's ability to form a good team," Humphries explains. "We don't go in as etiquette consultants. We're not talking about place settings. We're talking about refining leadership and customer service and sales."

Bremer does offer training in etiquette skills such as how to shake hands properly, correct business grooming and dress, and proper dining etiquette. And Gonthier offers the whole gamut of etiquette techniques. Among them: appropriate cubicle behavior, phone manners, and, for entertaining clients, how to order wine in a restaurant.

"The primary emphasis for me," Gonthier adds, "is just getting people to change their everyday behavior to be more considerate of one another."

In other words, start practicing those random acts of kindness at work: answer those e-mails and get to those meetings promptly; take a ten-minute walk to relieve stress so that you can deal with a conflict civilly; listen without interrupting; and smile!

Here are ways to reach the civility consultants mentioned in this article:

Giovinella Gonthier, Civility Associates, Chicago, Ill.
Email at civilityassoc@hotmail.com or call 312-655-0533.

Jill Bremer at Bremer Communications, Oak Park, Ill.,
www.bremercommunications.com or call 708-848-5945

Ann Chadwell Humphries, ETICON Inc., Columbia, SC.
www.eticon.com or 803-736-1934