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Here are
some other dos and don'ts to keep in
mind as we approach the season of holiday
parties and pitfalls. These rules will help
you achieve such sterling behavior, while
still having fun, that you'll have no
problem facing your coworkers in the morning.
DON'T SEX IT UP. Find out what the
dress code is and dress appropriately. The
office party is not the chance to get lucky
or demonstrate a Britney Spears-like appeal.
Avoid letting it all hang out — literally
and figuratively.
DO SHOW UP. The company has spent a lot of
time, effort and expense planning and organizing
this event. So, if you say you're going
to come, do come. Head count is more important
than people often realize. "Besides,
it's a very good opportunity to have
a casual conversation with management and
to speak to coworkers in other departments," said
Donna Pilato, a New Jersey-based Editor and
Guide at http://entertaining.about.com. "You
can go through whole year at work and never
interact with almost anyone outside your own
department. That's one of the main reasons
management hosts parties like this - to make
people feel that they're part of a larger
organization."
DON'T OVEREAT. "This is not the
time to forget one's table manners or
to try to overindulge on the company's
dime," Pilato said. "This is a
business function, not a bash at your best
buddy's." So, keep the napkin
handy and be careful about reaching over other
people at the buffet. If it's a walk-around
party, hold your food in your left hand so
that you can shake hands with your right hand
without greasy fingers.
DO FOLLOW THE SCHEDULE. Start by arriving
on time. There could be opening speeches or
announcements that the company wants you to
hear. Then follow the schedule of entertainment,
cocktails, dinner and exit. "Be timely
and leave at the appropriate time of the evening," Jern
said. "You don't want to be one
of the stragglers who has to be dragged away.
Remember, the cleanup committee probably wants
to get home."
DON'T MAKE OFF WITH THE DECORATIONS — OR
ANYTHING ELSE. In a survey of 430 BizBash
Event Style Reporter readers cited in the New
York Daily News, 69% said they'd
seen coworkers take centerpieces or other
decorations without permission and 86% said
they saw others taking more than one gift
bag. Keep those klepto impulses under control! "Taking
things that haven't been offered to
you is highly unprofessional and inappropriate," said
Westaff Human Resources Representative Gail
Jern. "The bottom line is that people's
reputation is just as much at stake at a company
function as it is in the office every day."
DO HELP OUT YOUR FRIEND IF YOU SEE HIM DRINKING
TOO MUCH AND/OR MAKING A FOOL OF HIMSELF.
No doubt, he'll be embarrassed the next
morning if someone doesn't help him
cut his losses now. Pull your friend aside
into the restroom and see if he's aware
of his behavior. If he's really blotto,
then encourage him to leave the party and
head for home. Make sure he doesn't drive home.
Order a taxi and see that he gets into it.
He'll probably thank you in the morning.
SAY THANK YOU. Let the planning committee,
your president and boss know that you appreciate
their organizing a terrific event. Stationary
notes work best, but even e-mailed messages
will do the trick. "It gives people
a better sense of who you are on a personal
level," Jern said. "And it's
going to reflect positively on you." |
So, the company's throwing a holiday bash
complete with band and open bar. What a great chance
to eat maybe more than your fill, get plastered
on the company's dime, let loose,
and grab a couple of extra gift bags on the way
out! Right?
You probably guessed it: Wrong. That way lays
the path to professional embarrassment and even
ruin - risking the respect of one's coworkers
and boss, and even jeopardizing one's job.
"Of course, you should enjoy yourself,
but it's not the time to lose all one's
inhibitions," said Donna Pilato, a New Jersey-based
Editor and Guide at http://entertaining.about.com. "Too
often, people think they should try to prove what
a fun person they are at an office party. They
forget that the people they're with at the
party are still the people they work with and whose
respect they still want to have the next day."
Yet, letting it rip seems to be the approach
many office holiday carousers are taking these
days.
In a survey of 430 BizBash Event Style Reporter
readers cited in the New York Daily News,
79 percent said they've seen their coworkers
become overly intoxicated at an office party; 62%
said their coworkers dressed inappropriately; 42%
said other employees danced in an overly suggestive
way; and 16% said coworkers actually had sex at
the office party.
"Office parties by definition are dangerous
because they blur the boundaries between one's
professional and social lives — and that
puts everyone in jeopardy," said Dr. Linda
Tillman, an Atlanta psychologist and assertiveness
training coach. "Yet at an office party,
violating a boundary with someone can cost you
much more than making a move on someone at a different
social function."
As these anecdotes from www.about.com Entertaining
Forum show, alcohol greatly exacerbates the cutting
loose mentality:
- On a company holiday boat cruise, a group of
secretaries got so blotto they began lifting
their shirts and flashing other people in the
company. Later in the evening, one of the secretaries
spoke to a coworker loudly about what a "jerk" her
boss was — not realizing her boss was three
feet away. She was fired the next day.
- At a company-sponsored holiday dinner-dance,
the company CEO got drunk and started making
unwelcome passes at his secretary, who was married,
but whose husband was not attending the party.
When things started to go too far, the secretary
called her husband for help. The angry husband
arrived and beat up the CEO. The upshot? The
CEO lost two teeth and the secretary lost her
job.
- A secretary who had been drinking shots started
chasing an attorney around a dance floor, yelling
at him in explicit terms about what kind of sexual
encounter she was interested in having with him.
She then passed out and could not be revived
by her coworkers. Eventually, paramedics were
called.
So why do some people feel such a need to belly
up to the bar? After working 60-hour weeks all
year, the temptation to let it all hang out may
be too great for some people. Others may drink
one too many in order to "relax" — it
can feel awkward socializing with coworkers you
know only on a professional basis. Or, people may
have fantasies at the office and alcohol can make
them feel free to act them out.
"Despite the pressures, though, one should
never tell oneself, 'Look at the boss — he's
had six drinks! How can it matter what I do? No
one's going to remember.' In fact, everyone remembers," Tillman
said.
The consequences for sexual misconduct can be
similar to those for drunken antics, said Westaff
Human Resources Representative Gail Jern.
"It could preclude someone from being promoted
or considered for a management position because
it shows a significant lack of good judgment," Jern
said. "If it's serious enough, the
boss could say, 'Here is your final check.
There is the door.'"
So what to do if one does misbehave at
an office party? First, expect to get your share
of teasing the next day. Count on all the details
of whatever happened making the rounds by the time
you get to the office.
In response, one's best bet is probably
to apologize to whoever may have been offended
as well as approaching your manager to explain
that it won't happen again.
"Someone in that position should offer apologies
for their bad behavior," Jern said. "I
wouldn't hide in my office and pretend nothing
happened. Instead, I'd get out there and
try and regain some lost stature. It might feel
like a tough note on which to end the year, but
after a while the teasing will probably
end."
Sources:
Westaff Human Resources Representative Gail Jern
Donna Pilato, a New Jersey-based Editor and Guide
at http://entertaining.about.com
Dr. Linda Tillman, an Atlanta psychologist and
assertiveness training coach, www.speakupforyourself.com
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