"THE DOG ATE MY KEYS!" AND OTHER CREATIVE EXCUSES FOR PLAYING HOOKY
The desire to succeed in school or in business can pressure a student or employee to cheat or lie. Added to that is a popular culture that can seem ambivalent or even cavalier about ethical questions, including playing hooky from work.

Take, for example, Wikipedia.com's how-to page, "How to call in sick when you just need a day off." According to www.wikihow.com/Call-in-Sick-When-You-Just-Need-a-Day-Off , you should avoid speaking directly with your boss when playing the truant, but if you have to, "Cough a few times if necessary, or speak in a raspy voice for added effect."

If you want to walk away with an award-winning performance, the how-to page advises you to: "Put your nose under a running faucet and take a shallow breath through your nose. It's uncomfortable for a short period but effectively gives you the sniffles for 2-3 minutes. This is long enough for you to make a convincing call to your boss and then proceed with your day off."

Ellie Bishop, author of The Sick Day Handbook: Strategies and Techniques for Faking It , urges potential truants to KISS - "Keep It Simple, Sickie." But many people fail to follow her advice, concocting elaborate alibis for staying at home or coming in late. Quite a few, according to a sampling compiled by AAA Writing's e-line magazine, E-zine, have involved people's pets and other animals. For example:

• My roommate's horse overate.
• My cat knocked the alarm off the dresser, the batteries fell out, and so I overslept.
• The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.
• I saw an alligator on the side of the road and stopped to help the game warden capture it.
• My dog dug a hole through the wall trying to get to a rabbit under my trailer.
• I know we were late to work... we had to pull off the road to watch the whales breaching.

Other creative excuses included:

• I had to pawn my alarm clock.
• My stigmata's acting up.
• I locked myself in the bathroom.
• Had to be rushed to the hospital for coffee burns on my lap!
• My brain is full...
• I just found out that I was switched at birth.
• I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy.
• My sister stole my money and I am out looking for her.
• The blankets were too heavy for me to lift so I was stuck in bed all day.

As humorous as many of these ploys seem, from an employer's point of view truancy isn't particularly funny. Neither are the possible consequences - including termination of employment - for an employee who gets caught playing hooky. So, next time you think about taking a "mental health day," consider how really rotten you'll feel if your boss finds out and you end up without a job. Then get up, get dressed and get to work!