TEN TIPS FOR NEGOTIATING WORKPLACE CONFLICTS
Conflict happens in all areas of business. Disputes can arise between employees, business partners, or a company and a client. And if such issues are not settled, good people can quit, profitable relationships can dissolve and great companies can go under. This has always been true, of course. But according to renowned mediator Jeffrey Krivis in a press release from Rocks-DeHart Public Relations, the implications of conflict are more profound than ever before.

"In a world where relationships matter more than ever, mediation skills matter more than ever," said Krivis, author of a new book, Improvisational Negotiation: A Mediator's Stories of Conflict about Love, Money, Anger-and the Strategies That Resolved Them. Companies can locate anywhere. People can work anywhere. Clients can stay with you or go with a competitor halfway around the globe. So, whether you manage employees or clients or both, it's critical to learn the art of bringing harmony out of conflict."

Krivis, who helps corporations and individuals from all walks of life settle disputes before they end up in the courtroom, has given a new definition to ‘negotiation.’ Negotiation, he said, is reframing a situation to get people to shift their positions in ways that make a resolution possible. His formula is as follows:

Instinct + Information = Intuition
Intuition + Knowledge = Improvisation

In short, negotiation is part art and part science. But you needn't become a certified mediator in order to settle a dispute at work or at home. Whether two employees are fighting or a disgruntled client is on the verge of leaving, you - yes, you -can step in and help solve the problem. You just need to understand some basics about human behavior, practice the fine art of paying attention, and offer yourself up as a neutral party who just wants to resolve the problem.

Here are some insights and tricks of the trade Krivis suggests you use:

• Let people tell their story. When a person is deeply upset about something, he really needs to get his story out. Feeling that he has finally "been heard" can dramatically change an angry person's outlook. Plus, as he tells his story, new information may come to light that allows a solution to naturally emerge.

A story in Krivis's book, illustrates this point. Dan, a systems analyst who had been downsized after 10 years with his company, was suing his former employer for wrongful termination. When he was finally allowed to tell his story in mediation, everyone was stunned by the raw emotion that came pouring out. "Dan had lost his parents as a child and had always spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with coworkers," revealed Krivis. "He saw the company as family - literally - and thus felt hurt and betrayed by the lay-off. As it turned out, the company was ultimately able to re-employ Dan as a consultant... and his old company got to continue benefiting from his services. But if Dan hadn't been allowed to tell his story... the answer would never have presented itself."

• When people are picking flyspecks out of pepper, come in with a reality check.

Often in a conflict, the various parties are so focused on minutiae that they lose sight of the big picture. As the mediator, you need to bring people back to reality by wrenching their attention away from the grain of sand and having them focus on the whole beach.

"I was mediating a case in which a security officer was raped by a superior," recalls Krivis. "Everyone was nitpicking, saying, 'Well, we don't know if we can believe the officer, so-and-so is biased, she's asking for too much money, etc.' I had to step in and say, 'Let me paint the picture the way the jury is going to see it: the horrific crime of rape, a woman in distress, a thriving six-figure career cut short, and so forth. Once I gave them the reality check, they came to an agreement right away."

• Avoid the "winner's curse" by carefully pacing negotiation. Believe it or not, it is possible to reach a solution too quickly. We all have an inner clock that lets us know how long a negotiation should take. When a deal seems too easy, a kind of buyer's remorse can set in that leaves people with second thoughts about the outcome.

• Finally, realize that every conflict can't be solved. It may sound odd coming from a mediator, but Krivis pointed out that some conflicts just aren't winnable. "Not every negotiation is going to have a win-win outcome," he reflected. "Not everyone can live together in harmony... There are times you just have to accept that both parties are going to leave the table equally unhappy... Isolate the participants if possible and just move on."

All this talk of well-paced dances, inner clocks, and gut feelings may seem alien to "just the facts" business types, but you'd better get comfortable with the idea that there are no hard and fast rules. "Improvisational negotiation is kind of like jazz," he said. "The chords you use depend on the chords you hear from the other participants and vice versa... It's organic. There are no limits on what can come out of mediation, and that's what makes it such a powerful skill."

Source: Rocks-DeHart Public Relations