Avoiding Heartaches and Headaches

Many companies assume that most of their employees will act like adults whether they're in love or recovering from a broken heart. For that and other reasons, an estimated 88 percent of American companies do not have any written policy about dating. But while many starry-eyed employees manage to behave professionally, not all do all of the time. At least some of the time, coworkers who are in love lose their heads. And for those occasions, a written, well-publicized policy can come in very handy.

The specifics of your policy will depend on your company's culture, your industry, local laws and what exactly you want to accomplish.

According to a survey by the American Management Association, of New York, among those companies that do have written policies on employee dating, the majority prohibit employees from dating a subordinate (92 percent) or a superior (69 percent). Another 11 percent prohibit co-workers from dating each other.

Some hard-line policies absolutely forbid intra-office dating and warn about summarily firing employees who are caught dating.

Other companies take a different tack and use "love contracts" or "volitional relationship contracts" to help safeguard them from potential sexual harassment claims. Typically, the contract is signed by the couple and clearly states that the relationship is completely voluntary and that the couple will conduct themselves in a professional manner both during and after the relationship.

Still others rely on ethics, conduct and other business codes that minimize the need for a dating policy.

Whatever you decide on, publicizing your policy is all-important. Make sure all of your employees have a copy and that all new employees receive one as part of their orientation. Employees should understand what the policy is and what the consequences are for violating it.

Then enforce the policy in as even-handed a fashion as possible. Avoid gender or race bias, and also be careful about seniority-bias - assuming that managers or more long term employees are more valuable to an organization than others.

If nothing else, your policy will help guide employees through the many challenges of an intra-office romance - and could save them and you some heartaches and headaches.