Holiday Gift-Giving: What to do with that Lump of Coal.

Holiday office gift-giving can be fraught with dangerous cracks in the ices: Who should you give gifts to? How big a gift? And what do you do about a gift you dislike? Navigating these challenges can be more difficult, experts say, than out-racing an avalanche.

"Attitudes on gift exchanges in the workplace vary widely — from those who wish to acknowledge every minor event in their own lives as well as in the lives of others to those who wish to celebrate milestones in their own social circles rather than in work settings," noted GiftElan.com.

"In the absence of a well-defined company policy, coworkers are left to muddle through gift exchanges year after year or to initiate guidelines on their own."

But there are a few common-sense rules of thumb and principles of etiquette that can help keep your spirit merry and your pocketbook intact. Among them: Never be afraid to say, "No." Be gracious about any gift you receive — whether you like the gift or not. And no extortion - bosses should never troll for gifts.

Remember, the workplace is not supposed to be a forum for social bribery. So, pick what events, charities, etc. you want to participate in and then feel free to gracefully decline others. And while you're at it, try to be tolerant of others' choices, too.

"Especially around the holidays, you'd expect a more kindly attitude," said Westaff Human Resources Manager Gail Jern. "Someone may not want to donate to something or take part in a gift exchange for financial reasons — and they shouldn't be made to feel bad about it."

If several employees are feeling the pinch, the group should make a real effort to keep costs down. Something like a cookie or ornament exchange may be just what Santa ordered.

One of the stickiest situations is the one between a boss and subordinate. It's never kosher, for example, for a boss to subtly or not-so-subtly demand a gift.

Consider the case of Dick Villari, a consultant for a health insurance company, as reported by the The New York Times.

Villari had been a chief executive at his previous employer's for about six months when he was informed by his president's secretary about the president's policy. The policy was that the president was to receive a Christmas gift from each person who reported to him directly, like Mr. Villari. Each of those gifts should cost about $100.

Mr. Villari checked with several of his peers, and they confirmed that it was a long-standing policy.

"'I asked what would happen if someone did not give him a gift,'' the Times reported. He was told that no one knew, because no one had been either brave enough or dumb enough to refuse.

So Mr. Villari bought him a suitable gift, and received a thank-you card. But no gift.

Mr. Villari's case was special, though obviously not in a good way. Fortunately, few bosses are that bold about demanding gifts. In far more cases, a very workable approach is to organize a group gift in which everyone pitches in what they can — and no one is singled out either as stingy or as currying favor.

"It's nice for the boss to have something from the whole team, something that's relatively modest and not too personal," Jern said.

Another approach is to offer the boss something that you can't really put a value on like homemade or gourmet cookies, artwork or a framed photo.

Of course, there's no telling what kind of gift you'll be receiving from your boss.

Take the case of Sanford Teller of New York who began his career working with a trade association in a three-person operation.

"'My boss was very formal, in his appearance as well as his demeanor. Always wore a bow tie and almost never took off his suit jacket,'' Teller told The New York Times.

While his boss and the secretary always addressed each other by their first names, his boss insisted that Teller address him with the title ''Mr.''

Teller had been working there 10 months, when, on the last workday before Christmas, the boss asked him to stay late because he had something he wanted to say to him.

Teller had been highly complimented on his performance and had heard that the association had presented gifts ranging from Leica cameras to fine leather briefcases, the Times reported. Naturally, visions of sugar plums danced in his head.

Teller said that the boss praised his work, then smiled and said, ''You've been here almost a year, and you've become a valuable member of my team, Sandy.'' From now on, the boss told him, he could call him by just his first name. That was his Christmas gift.

No matter how inadequate, inappropriate or just plain odd you may think your gift is, the proper response is to thank the giver graciously. It's never OK to grouse about a gift to office-mates.

"Take the high road," Jern said. "Even if it's just a $10 bonus, remember that something is better than nothing. For $10, you can have a couple of lattes and be happy about it. If nothing else, think about what a good story it's going to make when you get home."